


All Roads Lead Here

by Sairyn



Series: Second Chances [4]
Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Angst, Feelings, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Sex, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-29
Updated: 2016-11-29
Packaged: 2018-09-03 02:55:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8693650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sairyn/pseuds/Sairyn
Summary: Mike and Harvey have rekindled their friendship after a decade apart. A late night conversation and an evening out leads them back to the beginning. Sometimes love comes back around





	

“What the…,” Mike whispers, his throat feeling like asphalt on a dry summer day. He attempts to crack open an eye, but immediately closes it when pain blooms at the first entrance of light. Not to mention that his stomach is making a case for an immediate revolt. He takes a slow deep breath. Okay, he surmises, hangover. True, it has been a while since he has experienced one and even longer since he has had one of this magnitude, but he trudges through his memory banks and remembers all the steps to surviving a monster hangover.

First, reorient yourself. Mike quickly does a body scan. He’s on a bed - but not his. Second, he is naked. Wait, What? This is bad. Not only is he not in his bed but he is also naked. _Oh fuck_. He doesn’t want to even go to step 2 a. That alternative step you employ when one finds themselves naked and in a strange bed. He tilts his hips and feels the tell tale signs of being .. _.oh shit._ Mike lets his hand slowly palm the bed moving outward, stopping when it grazes flesh; flesh that isn’t his. This is all types of bad. Like all sorts of what the hell was I thinking bad. He tries once again to open his eyes. Once he is able to un-glue and peel back his eyelids slowly, very slowly, he takes in the room which has started to sway a bit.

Hotel room, he determines. Unless whoever he went home with last night has a phone labeled with room service.  At least it’s a very nice hotel room, as the fancy bed, plasma screen tv, and a large sitting area somewhere off in the distance demonstrates. Mike takes another deep breath and turns a little more. _Time to see what’s behind curtain number two_. The body next to him is male, brown hair, and … _oh shit. Oh shit!_ Lying next to him is none other than Harvey. And all of a sudden, the night all comes crashing back to him.

 ~~~~

It was just supposed to be an evening out with some friends. Harvey had invited him to a whiskey crawl. While it’s true, he enjoys a drink every once in awhile, gone are the days when he would get drunk and high just because the sun came up. Tonight, or rather last night, Harvey and him were getting together at a tasting event -  ergo 20 different “small pours”. Harvey was excited to have Mike meet some of his friends. So not only did Mike have way too much to drink (seriously does it matter how small the amounts are if you are being served twenty of them?), but he got a chance to be interrogated, and scrutinized. The price of being “the one that got away”  or something ridiculous like that. But he took it in stride, _Yes we really dated, yes; that was me who beat Harvey at the movie quote off and no it was Harvey and not me who peed in Louis office._ It was what happened after everyone said goodbye where things sort of got sort of fuzzy.

He recalls Harvey asking if he wanted to get something to eat and sober up since they both had a long drive home. He remembers them going to a nearby diner, ordering crappy food and then deciding that they were still too fucked up to drive home - hence the hotel. Mike stayed silent while Harvey booked one room - with two queens because, hey, they were both adults. Who says two old friends can’t share a room without it becoming sexual.

Mike takes a moment to look over at the other bed; the one still perfectly made. There goes that theory.

His brain continues replaying the film of last night. After checking in, Harvey cracked open one of the bottles he bought from the tasting. What the hell, he told himself, it’s not as if they were going anywhere. They got comfortable on the couch and started reminiscing; clearly ignoring the warning signs. Not that it would’ve mattered. Truth be told, all roads were leading here. Last night didn’t happen because they were both drunk. No. Last night was the end of a conversation.

The beginning happened a couple of weeks ago, over a late evening chat. It started off innocent, both staying on the right side of the “friend” border. But there is something to be said about things that come to light in the dead of the night. And sometime between Midnight and the witching hours, the boundaries that they had both managed to stay behind became loose, and permeable. Secrets and emotions were supposed to be kept behind steel guarded walls started to leak through as they both ventured down memory lane. They knew better, they did. But it was so easy as the conversation flowed to the good, the bad and the ugly as it related to their previous relationship.

And once the door was open, once those emotions were tapped into, nothing could stop the deluge of them, from finding their way to the surface, bringing with them questions and secrets. Words, both spoken and unspoken fell freely. They were supposed to stay hidden, not spoken into existence. And yet Mike can still hear them between the jokes, the dreams and hopes for the future.

“Would you like to date again? Harvey asked, his voice low and cautious. “I can add you to the list if you want,” he says cheekily.

Mike hoped that Harvey didn’t hear the gasp that escaped his lips upon hearing the question. How could he even think about starting over with Harvey, when he didn’t even know where he was? But if that was the case, why did the world feel like it tilted, as if fate was weaving her spell. The air was electric as the conversation changed to one charged with something else, an undercurrent of something more.

“I don’t know,” he answered truthfully.

He would like to say that his heart didn’t leap at the idea that maybe one day, but could he?

“I want you to have all you dream of, Harvey.”

“But who’s going to treat me better than you did? Love me harder than you? You were the love of my life.”

_Oh God, please don’t do this, Harvey. I am not a strong man._

“And you were mine,” he answers, feeling his resolve crumble.

“Now that I have you back in my life, I’m never letting you go again,” Harvey admitted.

“You don’t have to, I’m always going to be yours… In one way or another,” he quickly added, trying to cover up the truth with another version of it.

But it didn’t matter, the floodgates had been opened. Unable to stop himself, Mike asked the question that had been on the forefront of his mind for the last few weeks.

“Do you ever get the feeling this is bigger than us? I mean, it’s weird, right?” He asked.

“Yes,” Harvey answered slowly. “I try not to overthink it - and yet I can’t stop.”

“I know, me either.”

The silence that followed was brief, but within it were all the hopes and fears ever related to one Harvey Specter and Mike Ross; the power couple who were always supposed to be together, forever. _Too close, too much,_ Mike’s brain had screamed.

Mike needed to get them back in a safe area, had to stop this before it went too far. Of course, deep inside he knew it was already too late. They said their goodbyes for the night, with plans set for a night out with his friends.

~~~~~

Mike once again tries to move, but his body feels used and sore in ways he hasn’t felt in what feels like years. He moans softly to himself, the images of last night now accompanied by sights and sounds in his mind. It started simple; a toast to the past and to reconnecting in the present. The next drink was to the future, whatever that may be. Harvey asked him what did he want in his future. Well, that’s where it got complicated. Mike has been single for six months. He is just starting to get his life back together. He knows he wants to be whole again, to be in a place where he can have a steady and healthy relationship, but he is not quite sure is is there yet. Harvey told him he wants to be in love again, like he was when they were together. Then he dropped his bombshell.

“You ruined me, Mike. Ruined me for anyone else.”

Mike had not expected this, the words hitting him like a punch in the gut. He really had believed when he had left, Harvey would be happier without him. Guilt came crashing around him. If Harvey only knew how many days he had to stop himself from picking up the phone and begging Harvey to take him back. How his whole world was torn apart and everything, even breathing hurt. He felt raw and exposed as his thoughts strayed to some of his darkest moments during that time.

“You ruined me too,” he heard himself say.

“I’m so glad you’re back in my life,” Harvey whispered.

Silence fell between them, the air thick with emotions. The first taint of desire began to swirl around them. They were sitting close, too close. It would’ve been so easy. Mike saw it happen before it did. The both of them leaning closer, moving towards each other. Mike doesn’t know how, but a brief moment of rational thought somehow found its way to his brain and he shook his head, before excusing himself to the bathroom.

 _He did it,_ he told himself, splashing water on his face. He stopped - despite every nerve ending in his body screaming at him to give in; to fall. While that may be true, it was very short lived.

He doesn’t know how long he stood there bracing himself against the sink, head down, eyes closed. But apparently it was too long. A soft knock on the door brought his attention back to the dilemma at hand.

“You okay in there, rookie?” Harvey’s voice was soft, full of concern.

Mike smiled at the term of endearment. He couldn’t remember the last time he was called rookie. He didn’t answer, afraid of how he would sound. Afraid his voice would betray him.

“I’m coming in.”

Mike heard the door creak open and felt the pressure of this thing, whatever it was between them, grow.

“Mike…Are you okay?” Harvey asked.

“Yes,” _No._ Mike answered.

Harvey moved in behind him, close but not touching. Mike lifted his eyes and caught Harvey’s in the reflection. His eyes were hooded, filled with too many emotions to name. But he recognized the most powerful one, desire - and he couldn’t look away.

Harvey moved in a step closer, and Mike felt his breath along the back of his neck. He gripped the sink tighter and bit his lip. Somewhere in the back of Mike’s brain, a small voice told him, reminded him that this was not right, that he needed to stop this right there, right then.

 _But it’s Harvey_ , the less rational part of his brain whined.

Harvey’s hands circled around his frame landing on his hips. His head leaned in and Mike felt warm breath tickling his ear, making his cock grow and hardened in his pants. Fire licked at his skin. They stood there in silence staring at each other in the mirror, saying everything and nothing. Harvey asking for permission, and Mike not able to tell him no. Mike watched entranced as Harvey lifted his hand, so very slowly away from Mike’s hip to his wrist. Felt Harvey’s fingers traipse lightly up his arm, his eyes never straying from Mike’s in the reflection

Mike couldn’t stop the whimper that escaped from his lips.

 _Fight this. Stop this_ , the voice of reason that sounded so much further away, pleaded. But Mike’s body was not listening. He had Harvey’s scent in his nose, his mouth, his throat, and he wanted. Mike couldn’t move. His body, submitting without protest, gave in to the sensations that enveloped him. He relaxed into the touch, leaning ever so slightly back into the arms that once used to belong to him and him alone. The room closed in around them and Mike felt like he was drowning. His breaths became short as he gasped, struggling for oxygen. And then, _Oh god_ and then those lips, soft like butterfly wings, fluttered against his ear, his neck. His eyes closed in a last ditch effort to gain some sort of control.

But then Harvey spoke. His voice wrecked as he pleaded. “Mike.”

Slightly calloused hands grazed over Mike’s chest, over his nipples that were hard and straining beneath his shirt.

“Tell me, Mike, tell me to stop.”

Mike reopened his eyes and captured Harvey’s gaze. In his eyes he saw a million questions, and one answer.

 _“Don’t stop, don’t ever stop_ ,” his brain screamed. And just like that, Mike surrendered. Turning he captured Harvey’s lips in his own and it felt like coming home. Harvey groaned as they deepened the kiss and the years slipped away.

After shedding their clothes, they came together and relived every memory they ever shared. They didn’t fuck, they didn’t even make love; they made music and it was beautiful. It was slow, it was tender, neither of them wanting to rush. Declarations of love were whispered into each others skin, etched onto their souls and re imprinted in their hearts.

_Harvey…_

_Yes…_

_There…_

_Please…_

_Oh God…_

_Mine…_

_Take me…_

_Yours…_

_Always…_

_Mike…_

_I love you…_

_Don’t stop…_

_Please don’t stop…_

_Love you…_

~~~~~

But now the night has faded and with the sun comes the harsh reality check.

Mike loves Harvey, there will never be anyone else for him. But that doesn’t mean they are meant to be together. Sometimes you have to walk away from the person you love the most. Mike doesn’t like this truth, he would give anything to be able to say “let’s start over, let’s give in to this”, but Harvey deserves more than a memory of who Mike once was. And truth be told, so does Mike. That truth brings with it a pain so crushing it brings tears to Mike’s eyes.

“Ummmph…” comes a sleepy voice next to him in bed.

Mike quickly wipes his eyes and braces himself for the “morning after” conversation.

Harvey turns over and cracks open one eye.

“What the hell happened last night? And why does my mouth feel like sandpaper?”

“I’ll give you three guesses,” Mike answers, trying to keep his voice light.

Harvey opens his other eye and briefly lifts his head, scanning the room.

“Oh shit.”

“Got it in one.” Mike sighs.

“Mike. Oh God, Mike, what did we…”

“Hey,” Mike interrupts, hoping to prevent the freak out before it happens. “It’s okay.” He scoots a little closer to Harvey, trying not to wince as he is immediately reminded how well used his body is.

“Seems we might have gotten carried away last night talking about the good old days.”

“They were good times,” Harvey sighs. “But this. I mean, I love you, Mike, and I meant every word but…” He reaches up and touches Mike’s face and the act says everything Harvey doesn’t or can’t.

“You have to know, I didn’t plan…. I am not looking to…”

“I know, Harvey. I meant it when I said I wasn’t ready to be in any type of relationship. I still mean it. I love you. I am not going to sit here and say I regret sharing this night with you, it happened. We’re both adults. We both know what this is, and what it isn’t.”

 _Do we?_ his brain asks. _Not now_ , he answers. “We always did have one hell of a sex life,” he murmurs.

“Look at you being all grown up. Have I told you how much I am enjoying getting to know the man you have become,” Harvey praises, looking for his shorts.

“Flatterer. You’re not so bad yourself.”

“Tell that to my aching bones. Just how many times did we ummm…”

“Does it matter?” Mike asks.

“No, not with you. Never with you,” Harvey answers, his eyes shining.

Once again, Mike feels the pull of something bigger than them, rise up around them.

“I’m going to take a quick shower,” he muses, itching to escape the growing emotions. When he gets out, he revels in the vast expanse of marks that are on his skin. Evidence of the night Harvey and him have shared. Evidence he is going to hate see fade back into nothingness.

“Hurry up in there, will you?” Comes Harvey’s booming voice.

“I’m coming.”

“I’ve heard that before,” Harvey smirks as he passes Mike on the way into the bathroom.

Mike dresses slowly, while Harvey showers. He’s starting to panic, knowing if he doesn’t get out and get away, he will have his own personal meltdown right here. And he can’t do that, not now, not here. His brain keeps replaying the night on an endless loop - complete with sounds, images and feelings - and he wants to bathe in them.

“Do you want to get some breakfast?” Harvey calls out from the bathroom.

“Nah, I better get home.”

Harvey comes out of the bathroom, brow furrowed and a worried look upon his face. His hair is wet and all Mike wants to do is walk up to him and run his fingers through it. Harvey’s eyes light up as if he read that thought straight from Mike’s mind.

“I’ve got shit to do. I don’t know about you, but I don’t hang out all night with people, waking up in strange beds,” he chuckles nervously.

“Well, you don’t know what you’re missing, “ Harvey smiles back.

“Whatever, Mr. Specter. You can have this jet set life.”

“Care to join me?” Harvey  asks surreptitiously.

“Maybe.”   _He can’t fall back in love. He just can’t fall back in love with Harvey,_ he tells himself. _Too late_ , his brain answers.

“I better go,” Mike mumbles. He walks up and kisses Harvey briefly on the lips. “I love you, Harvey.”

“I love you too, Mike.”

Mike turns and heads for the door. As he reaches the handle, he stops and turns back to face Harvey.

“Rain-check for breakfast?”

“Definitely.”

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Once again, I have got in under the wire. What can I say, I am a tweaker. 
> 
> Thanks to my girl @Novemberhush for holding my hand while I wrote this and for whispering songs in my head to continue this verse... Will this series ever end??? Love you sweet girl! 
> 
> and of course- a big thanks to @sal-si-puedes for beta-ing my head convoluted head spaces. Much appreciated!


End file.
